I have not only been saying no more often lately, but I have been feeling less confused about when to say yes and when to say no. It is a new experience to want to say no to something and then to actually say it!. I used to fear that if I said no I would let people down and their opinion of me would suffer as a result. I have also noticed that I have a lot more clarity, and less ambiguity and guilt about the word no.
Many different opportunities come our way every day as we move through the world. Some come from editors and new projects, some from real estate and new ventures, and some from travel related adventures. The good news is there are multiple doors open and we have many choices. That is also a challenge because the directions we can go are infinite. I have learned we need to be crystal clear about our vision and values in order to know what decisions align.
I realize now, clarity around vision and values makes saying no much easier. When those things are clear, I am much less tolerant of actions and behaviors that don’t align. I want all of my energy going toward the life I am creating every day and the things that life inspires me to think about.
There was just as much inspiration at home but I didn’t stop long enough to gain the clarity I needed to sort through the requests that came in so rapidly as I moved quickly through my days. I realize now how much time I spent doing things I was not inspired to do because I didn’t feel like I had the courage to say no.
The worst part was not even lacking that courage, it was the amount of energy I expended on those tasks I didn’t really want to do. I often had little or no excitement left for the things I was inspired to do. I think it was intentional at some level because there was always a victim mentality or excuse waiting for me if I was not living the life I dreamed. “I have no time for myself,” I would exclaim as I ran around fearing the word no.
I realize now I had the time, I just lacked the courage to protect that time. This journey has taught me just how precious time is and I will never squander it again.