“Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.” –David Lloyd George
When my grandmother was on her way out dancing or to a fancy dinner, she would always say, “I am stepping out tonight” with a gleam in her eye. I have been thinking of her lately and for some reason “stepping out” keeps playing like background music as we prepare, once again, to step out into the unknown.
After nearly six years of traveling, we have been stationary for a while as so much has happened in our world. The past few years have been incredible opportunities for our children to become teens, have sleepovers for the first time ever, take international trips to Mexico, Peru, and Vietnam without us, get braces on and off, wisdom extracted in the form of teeth, learn to drive, experience school dances, and spend precious time with extended family when it was safe to do so from a pandemic perspective. These past six months as the world opens and closes and opens, giving birth to travel dreams and then dashing them with one fell swoop, it has been challenging to time our departure, until now…
Where?
We will be heading to the East Coast of the United States to spend long overdue time with family we haven’t been able to see during the Pandemic. From there, we will head to Rome for a work opportunity, and then north to our favorite ski town on earth, Breuil-Cervinia. We are returning to Cervinia for the winter because it will be easy to socially distance and keep active on the mountain every day while working and doing school online and in the community where restrictions allow.
Why?
We are heading to Europe initially because we are dual citizens and while we want to become nomadic again, this does not yet feel the time to wander freely for our family. The kids are all passionate about attending university in the European Union and it was our impetus for achieving dual Italian-American citizenship when we originally set out back in 2013. We will be looking at universities from Estonia to the Portuguese coast as soon as they are open for tours, while simultaneously learning how to navigate the admissions process across various borders. We will also be renewing Italian Citizenship Documents to get everything up to date that expired when government offices were closed during COVID.
Underlying all of our actionable reasons is our overwhelming desire to take a big step. We practice stepping into each moment religiously wherever we are but for some reason for our family, when we travel we feel most connected and amazed. I guess you could say it is our shortcut to landing in the present awakened. We will depart on our oldest son’s 18th birthday. He has been saying for years, all he ever wants to do on his birthday is board a plane to somewhere. So, we are stepping out.
What does stepping out look like for you?
Stepping out does not have to mean selling all one’s belongings and heading out to see the world with just what is in your carry-on. For us that is fun but many people think we are nuts and there are countless ways to learn and grow. To find out what stepping out looks like for you, we wanted to share the process our family goes through to get to a decision around a shared vision:
Pick A Time and Place
Set aside time and a place to cultivate gratitude, wonder, and mystery. This may sound cliché but it is a critical first step when you feel change is imminent otherwise the change will happen to you versus you harnessing the momentum in the direction of your dreams.
For us, this summer we had a housesitting opportunity on a flower farm on Lummi Island. It was 10 days and we all had to commit. We had limited connectivity which made work and time with the kids’ friends more challenging but we got consensus and we set the dates.
Pick the time, day, and participants required for your vision whether it is a day or a week, or even two. Give yourself time to decompress before the work of setting intentions begins. If you don’t do this, the whole process will feel forced and as we have written before, “there is never a happy ending to an unhappy journey.” Set the stage for stepping out.
Brainstorm
Brainstorm on your own or with other significant people the times you have felt most alive and connected. Is it when you are making music, cooking, traveling, working on a community project, trekking in nature? Write down as many examples as you can and talk in detail about who, why, and what was present to make the connection real and lasting.
We use a Post-It flip chart and have each person answer the following question on a big piece of chart paper: Tell me about a time when you felt so connected to what you were doing that time flew by and you didn’t want it to end. Once everyone spends 15-20 minutes brainstorming, we have a discussion and identify themes that are in alignment for our family of five. (hint: most of the themes that emerge for us are travel-related)
Imagine
We then imagine three paths before us and we think of three possible choices we might make for our next chapter. Perhaps it is building a house, traveling the world, getting in shape, etc. Visualize and talk through what it looks like to walk down each path and brainstorm reactions you/group has to this journey. Finally, answer the question, “Which path did I/we enjoy most?
For us, the path that emerged was university in Europe and we voted, as we do twice a year. We never move forward to the next step until we have a unanimous decision. It is not a democracy but rather we keep building paths until we have one everyone is drawn to and excited about. This has been instrumental in our decision-making, especially with teens. Everyone’s vote counts and has the same weight and without a unanimous vote, we don’t move forward. We have moved around the world this way through 30 plus countries and the accountability we all feel for the path we are on is key to our joy and fulfillment as well as our ability to overcome obstacles.
Build an Envisioned Future
Now answer the question on your own or collectively, What is our BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) as an individual, couple, or family based on our chosen path? Once you have a drafted goal, you answer these questions: Imagine it is today one year from now, we are sitting talking about this conversation. What are we saying about the magical year we have had? What does it look like, feel like, sound like as we have the conversation of all the beauty that has manifested in our lives over the past 12 months because of this time we spent dreaming and planning and charting our path together?
Now Take Inspired Action
Once there is palpable momentum in the direction of your dream individually or collectively, take inspired action. You will know you are on the right path if it is easier to get out of bed in the morning and you feel more possibility and hope about not just your own future but your community, country, and world. This is the tipping point where the flood gates open and serendipity seems to step in. It is when the right people and opportunities show up almost effortlessly to get you closer to achieving your envisioned future. Your only job is to notice how things are falling into place without trying to control and manage the pieces.
Enjoy the creation process that is a result of your commitment to set aside time to cultivate gratitude and wonder, brainstorm when you felt most connected, vote on a path that feels best, set a BHAG, build an envisioned future, and take inspired action.
Stepping Out
I remember Joe Jackson’s 1980’s hit Steppin Out playing on the radio on my way to the airport as a 16-year-old headed to Australia for my junior year as a Rotary Exchange Student . My grandma was in the backseat holding my hand as we listened to the song and she looked at me with that gleam in her eye and she said, “he stole my line.” So much has changed since then and yet so much has stayed the same. We look forward to following your journey and we hope you will stay connected as we are most certainly, with one big leap, stepping out tonight…
Steppin’ Out Lyrics by Joe Jackson
The mist across the window hides the lines
But nothing hides the color of the lights that shine
Electricity so fine
Look and dry your eyes
We
So tired of all the darkness in our lives
With no more angry words to say
Can come alive
Get into a car and drive
To the other side
Me babe, steppin out
Into the night
Into the light
You babe, steppin out
Into the night
Into the light
We
Are young but getting old before our time
We’ll leave the T.V. and the radio behind
Don’t you wonder what we’ll find
Steppin’ out tonight
Me babe, steppin out
Into the night
Into the light
You babe, steppin out
Into the night
Into the light
