Lately we have felt distant from those closest to us. Ever since we announced our plans to travel the world with our three children, this preventative distance has settled around us like a fog. Yesterday we just decided to ask one of our closest friends what was going on. His reply was, “You are leaving and the thought of it kills me, so I guess I am leaving first.” Initially we felt like the rug was ripped from under us and then … Total illumination. It was almost a relief! People aren’t mad at us, but they are going to beat us to the punch.
It hurts when people go or when we have to say goodbye so why not start now by simply withdrawing? The answer is because it doesn’t work! The pain of emotional distance from those we love is far more excruciating than any miles could ever inflict. All we ever have is today, and it is our intent to come from a place of love and gratitude each moment we are given. Any time we disconnect we plummet into a more isolated, wounded orientation which is more about surviving than thriving.
We remember wanting so badly to move from our first house because we had outgrown it. We decided to stay because we had the most amazing neighbors and guess what? They moved. We were so angry at first. We stayed for them, how could they just up and leave us here? The truth is, we always stay or go because of our own desires or fears, and any time we say it is about someone else’s choices, it is a projection.
How about we all agree that in this moment, we have the people in our experience that we have chosen, and that does not change with geography or world view, lifestyle choices, or even death? The people who make us who we are, by alignment or by contrast, are forever a part of our experience.
We are hereby putting an end to preventative distancing because pulling away or intentionally connecting is a choice that has nothing to do with geography. It’s a small world after all.